From Camps to Custody: Solving Common Co-Parenting Conflicts
Smart Strategies for Avoiding Common Co-Parenting Pitfalls This Season
By Liz Billies
As the weather warms up and the school year winds down, divorced and separated parents often find themselves juggling a new set of challenges. Between vacations, camps, and flexible work schedules, summer can shake up even the most stable custody arrangements. The good news? With a little preparation, it’s possible to minimize misunderstandings and make the most of the season—for you and your child.
Here’s a look at the most common co-parenting issues families face during the summer months—and how to handle them effectively:
1. Camp, Childcare, and Extra Costs
Summer childcare isn’t just a logistical challenge—it’s often a financial one. Camps, sports, and babysitters can be costly, and unless your support order clearly spells out how those expenses are handled, disagreements can arise over who pays and how much.
Why it matters:
Money issues can escalate quickly and lead to unnecessary tension, especially if one parent feels blindsided by new expenses or excluded from planning decisions.
What to do:
Coordinate camp and childcare plans early. Share program details and cost estimates with the other parent and work together on a fair financial arrangement. Keep all receipts and communications. If your support order doesn’t address shared expenses for summer activities, you may need to amend it or establish a written agreement with help from your attorney or mediator.
2. Travel Permissions & Legal Requirements
Taking your child out of state—or especially out of the country—often requires the other parent’s written consent. Parents sometimes assume these details are understood, which can lead to complications at the airport, border, or court.
Why it matters:
Failing to follow custody order travel rules can be seen as a legal violation, and international travel, in particular, may be blocked without proper documentation, including notarized letters and passport agreements.
What to do:
Review your court order for travel guidelines. If you plan to travel, give notice as early as possible—ideally in writing—and request any required permission from the other parent well ahead of time. For international trips, make sure passports are current and accessible. Consider carrying a notarized travel consent form, especially if traveling solo with the child.
3. Vacation Scheduling Conflicts
Both parties are generally entitled to summer vacation time with the children, but the details can get messy. Overlapping travel dates, poorly communicated plans, or vague custody orders can lead to last-minute conflicts and even missed trips.
Why it matters:
Not only can disputes over vacation time cause frustration, but they can also create stress and disappointment for children caught in the middle.
What to do:
Start planning early—ideally in the spring. Review your custody order for specific summer provisions, such as who gets priority in odd or even-numbered years. Use a shared calendar to block out proposed vacation dates, and always confirm changes in writing. If your agreement doesn’t address summer scheduling, it may be time to revisit it with your attorney.
4. Communication Breakdowns
With summer’s flexible schedules, routines can easily fall apart. One parent may forget to share key information about drop-offs, schedule changes, or medical appointments. In some cases, parents may stop communicating altogether if tensions rise.
Why it matters:
Poor communication can lead to missed events, disrupted plans, and confusion for children. Worse, it may strain the co-parenting relationship long after summer ends.
What to do:
Create systems that encourage consistent, low-conflict communication. Co-parenting apps like OurFamilyWizard, TalkingParents, or Google Calendar can help centralize schedules and keep everyone on the same page. Keep messages respectful and child-focused—especially if they’re in writing, since these records may be reviewed in legal contexts if conflicts arise.
5. Back-to-School Prep Disagreements
It’s easy to forget that summer will end—and when it does, back-to-school prep can bring its own challenges. Co-parents may disagree about which school a child should attend, who pays for supplies, or even whether extracurriculars are appropriate.
Why it matters:
These are major decisions that can impact your child’s academic and social well-being. Even small decisions (like buying a backpack) can turn into bigger battles when left to the last minute.
What to do:
Don’t wait until August. Schedule a mid-summer check-in to discuss school-related logistics. Review your custody order to determine who has decision-making authority for education and extracurriculars. Document agreements about cost-sharing, and if necessary, work with your attorney to clarify or update your support or custody order before the new school year begins.
A Smooth Summer Starts with Solid Planning
Summer is meant to be a time of rest, adventure, and memory-making for kids—but for co-parents, it takes extra communication and flexibility to make that happen. With the proper preparation and a willingness to work together, most summertime challenges can be handled without court involvement.
If you’re facing ongoing disagreements or need help updating your parenting plan before summer begins, Dischell Bartle Dooley is here to help you create a plan that works—for you and your children. Reach out to a member of our family law team or contact the office directly at 215.362.2474.